Perfectly Wrong
by Mr. Phich
Summary: Everything about this was wrong, so very wrong. But it was so right, too. It was more than anything he'd ever felt, and it was passion as he'd never imagined it, and it was desire, and comfort and family and love. And it was perfect. HP/JP.Time Travel.
1. Prologue

_Perfectly Wrong  
Summary: Everything about this was wrong, so very wrong. But it was so right, too. It was more than anything he'd ever felt, and it was passion as he'd never imagined it, and it was desire, and comfort and family and love. And it was perfect. HP/JP. Time Travel._

_Warnings: Incest, Slash, Time Travel, Irregular Updates, Slytherins and eventual smex. Updates irregularly._

_Disclaimer: I do not own either of these delicious Potter boys._

_Prologue:_

_Harry hadn't meant to fall in love with his father. He knew it was wrong. But here, now, looking at that sleeping face, peaceful, despite all the horrors they had faced, he couldn't regret it. How could he regret it? He loved this man, James, with all his heart. With all his being. He had never loved another soul like he loved this one. Because James was beautiful, and stubborn, and strong, and how could Harry not love him once he got to know him?_

_And was his fault that he had gotten to know him when they were both teenagers? That this man, for whatever genetics said, had never been his father? Could he blame himself for loving his father?_

_No._

_Could he blame himself for loving James?_

_No. _

_Could he help that they were one in the same?_

_No. _

_It had been difficult. It hadn't always made sense. If others, besides those they trusted, found out, it would be bad. _

_But he loved him._

_And that was what mattered in the end. _


	2. Back to Back Then

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of his associates. _

* * *

_Chapter One: Back to Back Then_

Harry looked at Albus' portrait, stunned.

"Truly, Albus?"

Albus smiled at him.

"Harry, my boy, you have lived through to much pain. If I can offer you a chance to be yourself, then I will, Harry. I only wish I could have offered it to you sooner."

"I had to stay, Albus. It was destiny, you know." Harry smiled at the silver-haired portrait. "I would have to do it again."

"Certainly, my boy. It is why I waited so long, but I, at long last, came to the conclusion that is not my choice to make my child. If you want to do this- to take this chance for something better despite all that it entails, then I will wish you the best."

Harry let his head fall into his hands and he rubbed his temples, thinking. Thinking of the past. Of the long year hunting for Horcruxes, first with his friends, and then without, when they left him alone. Of the unexpected gains- a friend he should've taken long ago- and losses. Remus. Tonks. Collin. Kingsley. Mrs. Weasley. Charlie. Fred. George. More- nameless corpses that haunted his dreams right along with those he had known.

"But...Draco..." Harry frowned. There was no one else left to leave behind but his blond-haired ex-enemy. But the chance of Draco waking from the coma, of his mind ever being the same, after what he had suffered for Harry...it was slim. The Healers had almost convinced Mrs. Malfoy to take him off the life support. And then there would be no one. No one at all.

"May I wait, sir? Until..."

"Of course, my child, come to me when you are ready."

* * *

So Harry waited the long months as the Malfoys made their decision. He was there beside Draco's bed when the spells were removed. He was there to witness Lucius' and Narcissa's tears. He was perhaps the only non-Malfoy ever to be hugged, cuddled even, by the two. He found acceptance of both himself and his plans there, and he cursed himself for his blindness in his younger years. He stood by them, as Draco's closest friend and the only non-familial recipient of his will, during the funeral. He shook hands of people he had never met, and kissed knuckles of generations of pureblood ladies. He said goodbye to Draco and his parents, and when he came to Albus on the one year anniversary of the final battle, there was no second thought in his mind.

He was ready to say goodbye.

He was ready to try again.

He was ready to see what the world had been.

_"Redeo ut quis eram, quod animadverto quis vires si ego, ut undeviginti septuaginta septem."_

Harry felt the magic from within him mix with the magic of the words and the ambient magic of Hogwarts. With one hand stuck in his pocket, clutching his miniaturized trunk, and one hand holding his school bag tightly, Harry Potter smiled and disappeared from that time forever.

He appeared with a slight popping noise in Hogsmeade, as Albus had told him to expect. A quick _Tempus_ told him that it was ten forty seven on Tuesday, September 30th, 1977. Right on schedule then. Hefting his bag up higher on his shoulder, Harry walked through the half-deserted town of Hogsmeade. It wasn't as bad as it had gotten in his time, but people eyed each other suspiciously and bustled from one place to another rather than linger at their tasks.

Harry was eyed with suspicion as he strode towards Hogwarts, but he didn't let that bother him. He had faced much worse stares. Much worse suspicions, too, if he was truthful. As he reached the gates of Hogwarts, Harry realized he probably should have thought the whole thing out a little more thoroughly. How was he to get onto the grounds? He lingered outside the gates for a good thirty minutes and had just resolved to go back and hire an owl when Hagrid's friendly face made an appearance.

"You the'e, wha' you doin' lingerin' about, 'ey?"

"I'm sorry. I'm a new student. Harry White," A good, plain, unnoticeable name, if there ever was one, "at your service." Harry gave his small, shy smile. He'd never really grown used to smiling, not after years with the Dursleys and then the years in the Wizarding World. He smiled infrequently, and when he did smile, they were small smiles. But Hagrid, Hagrid always brought a smile to his face. "I am sorry I am running so late. I..."

"Tell it ta the Headmaster, Mr. White." Hagrid opened the gates for him and eyed him suspiciously as they walked up to the castle in silence. The only students on the grounds were far off, by the lake for some sort of Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Hagrid led him up to the castle and through the halls to the Headmaster's office. He muttered the password so lowly Harry didn't catch it and accompanied Harry up the staircase and banged on the Headmaster's door.

"Do come in, Hagrid." Came the familiar voice. Harry lurched forward through the doorway, looking at Dumbledore, so real, so alive, with something akin to awe.

"And who is this young man?"

"He was hangin' round tha' gates, sir. Says he's a new studen'. Harry White."

"Oh?" Albus smiled at him. "Well, I will handle this now, Hagrid."

"He looks awful like James, he does, Professa'." Hagrid said softly to Dumbledore as the elder man escorted him out.

"Yes, he certainly does, Hagrid." Dumbledore whispered, mostly to himself, "He most certainly does."

"Now, Mr. White, was it?"

"Yes, sir." Harry answered, head bowed. He couldn't look this man in the eye. Not now. Not after all that had happened between them. He had made peace with a dead man. This man was not dead. "I'm sorry to come to you so late in the year, sir. My, my, godfather," Harry choked back the tears that wanted to come, thinking of Sirius, and of Remus, "He was going to sign me up this summer- I take my N.E.W.T.s this year and he wanted me to have the best chance, y'know? But he got caught in an attack...didn't, didn't make...anyway, I had to deal with that and I couldn't get here on time." Harry said tensely.

"Oh, you poor child," Dumbledore said softly. "I am very, very sorry for your loss, Harry. If you ever need someone to talk to...I am here."

Harry nodded, not trusting his temper or his tears enough to open his mouth at this point.

"Well, let's just move on then. Do take a seat, my boy." Harry sat in the familiar chair, dropping his bag by his feet. "So you'd like to join our seventh years, Mr. White?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very good, very good. How many N.E.W.T.s do you plan to take?"

"Six, sir."

"My, that's quite a load! Which ones, then?"

"Defense against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Care of Magical Creatures and Astronomy, sir." His affection for the stars came from long nights with Draco, under the stars, sometimes asleep, sometimes running for fear of their lives, sometimes making love under the open night. Harry clenched his jaw. It was Draco's love, and therefore it was his.

Dumbledore jotted them down on a piece of parchment with Harry's name written across the top.

"Good, Mr. White. Now we'll just get you sorted..." The Headmaster accioed the raggedy hat and handed it to Harry. "Just place that on your head, my boy." Grateful that Dumbledore wasn't making him do this in front of the whole school, Harry plopped the familiar hat onto his head.

"Now, now _now. _Who _do _we have here? Done quite a bit in your time, haven't you, Mr. Potter? Now, now, don't fret, I can't tell anyone your secrets. We'll just sort you now...

Hmm, I do say you would do well in any of the houses, Mr. Potter, though Slytherin still fits you best. But no, what you need right now is GRYFFINDOR!"

Dumbledore beamed. "Very good, my boy. Now we'll just head down to lunch and announce you to the school."

Harry sighed, but nodded all the same.

* * *

James plopped down besides Remus and gave a gusty sigh.

"Was Care of Magical Creatures_ that _bad?" Remus asked with a smile.

"_That bad! That bad!"_ Sirius shrieked. "Remus you cannot imagine the torturous, horrific..."

"That is quite enough, Mr. Black," The Headmaster's amused voice broke in.

Sirius flushed and pouted.

"I'd like to introduce everyone to our new student, Harry White. He has been sorted into Gryffindor and will be joining the seventh years. Please make him feel welcome."

James looked for the boy. When he, the boy, that is, came out from behind Dumbledore, James gasped. He was _lovely. _He was slim and dark, his eyes and manner grave. James had long known he swung both ways, though he usually preferred women, but this boy, he was gorgeous enough to convince James to give up girls.

Harry slowly made his way over to them.

"May I sit here?" He asked in a soft tenor.

"Sure ya' can, old boy!" Sirius crowed, scotching over to make room for the new kid across from James. Peter sat on Remus' other side and Sirius opposite Remus.

"Where are you transferring from?" Remus asked. Harry looked up from his plate, which he had been filling slowly and looked the lycanthrope over. His lips quirked slightly in a slight smile.

"I was home schooled." James could not get enough of this boy. Sirius winked at him. James gave him the finger.

"Oh? That must have been interesting."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Why'd you come to Hogwarts, then?" James asked, jumping into the conversation.

"M-my... my godfather thought it would be best for my N.E.W.T. year." Harry answered quietly. Everything about this boy was quiet- even quieter than Remus- and gentle.

"So why just now?" Peter asked. Harry glanced over and frowned, before glancing away at the doors.

"I...he, he, he died, at the end of the summer. There was a lot to, um a lot to take care of, you know?"

"Oh Merlin, I'm _so _sorry." Peter said in horror. James looked at Harry, who had captured his attention with a single glance, only to see that he was dashing away tears.

Sirius wrapped and arm around the new kid.

"Hey, mate, you're here with us now." He said in that way he had. Harry nodded and looked up at them, a perplexing look in his eyes.

"Yes, yes, I suppose I am."


	3. Seeing

_Disclaimer: I own neither of these lovely Potter boys. Or any of their cohorts._

_Chapter Two: Seeing_

Harry escaped dinner as soon a he possibly could, claiming that the headmaster had already showed him the way to the Gryffindor tower. A lie, of course, but it was all too much- it was too much being there with them, with the walking dead; being there with so many people whose clearest moment in his life was the moment they died. Harry shuddered as he walked through the empty, deserted halls, and wrapped his arms around himself in a lonely hug.

With a fierce pain in his chest, Harry realized he missed the Malfoys. Though he had only known them for a few months, he had found such acceptance in their arms that he could not help but come to love them- in the weird awkward fashion that came from being enemies for longer than Harry had been alive. A common, devastating loss had brought them together irrevocably. No one else would have understood their loss, and nobody else would ever understand how Harry Potter had come to think of the Malfoys as family.

Harry sighed.

"Password?" His inner musings were broken by the question from the familiar picture of the fat lady. Belatedly, Harry realized he did not have the password,

He swore softly and sank to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and sighing again. This had been a bad idea. How had he ever let the headmaster convince him that it was a good idea to go back to the past? Draco would have never let him do this. He missed his fiancé so bad it hurt to breathe. It felt as though someone had reached into his chest and pulled out his heart, leaving only pain and loneliness behind, God, he missed him. A few tears leaked out of Harry's green eyes. Embarrassed Harry wiped them away but they just kept coming, faster and faster, until he was sobbing into his knees.

"Draco..." He whispered when the tears would come no more. "Draco, why did you leave me?"

"Jamsie's got a crush!" Sirius cat called as soon as Harry left the hall. James blushed.

"Shut up."

"Ickle Jamsie's crushing' on the new boy, ickle Jamsie's..." Sirius started to sing teasingly.

"Shut up." James said again.

"He is quite attractive," Remus said teasingly. James pouted at the werewolf.

"Though," Remus continued, in a soft, concerned voice, "after the disaster with Lily, well..."

James felt a brief stab of pain, thinking of Lily, who had finally broken James' heart one too many times at the end of sixth year. He had, regretfully, given up on her.

"Well yes, but that was mostly my fault, and I know better now," James responded in the same quiet voice. Remus gave him a proud smile, "Plus, it's just a crush, Moons!"

"So are you going to ask him out? Huh? Huh?" Sirius jumped back into the conversation.

"Yes." James said, then paused and said, "No. Maybe. I don't know."

"You've really got it bad." Sirius teased.

"Yeah. I mean I just met him, but it's like there's just this instant connection. I feel like I know him some how... And he's gorgeous, so that helps too." James grinned cockily.

"Well then, Prongs, old boy, go on and get him."

James was pushed out of his seat. Laughing at his friend's antics, James left the hall, heading for Gryffindor tower. He was in high spirits, sure that asking Harry out would be no problem what-so-ever.

When he reached the entrance to the Gryffindor tower, he was forced to revise his assumptions. Harry was curled up next to the portrait, head buried in his knees, whole body shaking.

"Harry?"

The slim boy startled, and quickly wiped away tears, staring at James with vivid green eyes.

"James? Hi, I uh, didn't have the password..."

"D'you want to talk about it?"

"Not having the password?" Harry said, his nose scrunching in befuddlement. It was _adorable. _

"No, silly. Whatever's making you cry."

"Oh, no. No, I'm all right, really." Harry said this while still rubbing tears away, so James didn't particularly believe him.

"All right, well the password's _Lady Hespiana._" This he directed at the fat lady. He offered Harry a hand up, which he accepted, and James gently pulled the other boy to his feet. They entered Gryffindor tower together.

"So, welcome to Gryffindor tower- your home for the next six months! Our dorm's up this way- wanna see?"

Harry nodded.

James grinned, but inwardly he felt a little down-trodden. Obviously Harry was a lot more complicated than James had originally thought. Seducing him would take more care, more patience and more commitment than James had planned for. He'd just have to wait and see if the new boy was worth it.

...

Harry followed his dad- no best just to think of him as James, his peer, his classmate, his roommate and hopefully his friend- up the familiar stairway. The Marauders were situated at the very top of the tower, just as Harry had been in his true time. They had affixed two signs on the door, one reading 'Home Moony, Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail' and the other a muggle 'beware of dog' sign. The second sign had Harry's lips quirking in his version of a smile.

"Well," James said, throwing the door open, "Here it is! Home, sweet, home!" Harry followed the taller boy into the bedroom. It was a mess. Muggle clothes, robes, books, sweets, magazines, Quidditch gear and half-finished assignments lay on the floor, over the beds- even hanging from the beds and windows.

"Sorry about the mess," James apologized with a slight flush as he kicked a pair of shorts under the nearest bed. "This'll be your bed, I s'pose."

James pointed to the only clean bed in the space, directly opposite the door. Harry nodded and carefully made his way across the room, wincing as something cracked under his foot. The room made him nervous and antsy. He hated messes, as his dorm-mates in the future had come to learn. And now, more than ever, before, Harry hated not being able to see everything that lay within a room- you never knew what was out of place, unless you knew what belonged there. Pushing his nervous energy away, he pulled out his shrunken trunk, setting his bag on the bed. He tapped the trunk with Draco's hawthorn wand and carefully set it at the end of his bed. Though Harry still had his own wand tucked securely in a holster on his calf, he preferred to use Draco's wand. It felt as though he was there with him, standing beside him and protecting him, as he had for nearly a year and a half. Harry, now twenty years old, felt like a child again as the pain of losing Draco rushed him once again. Hurriedly Harry pushed away the pain, not ready to think on it any more. This was about leaving that all behind. A new start for him...and for the world.

Searching for something to distract him, Harry pulled out his schedule, still not quite believing he was back at school- and on top of that, using his size to pretend to be seventeen again. It was nuts. He was crazy, plain and simple. Driven crazy by the nightmares, and the pain, and the loss...

Ruthlessly, Harry shoved all thoughts of his past away. This was a new beginning- he didn't have to worry about the past anymore. Here he was Harry White, nothing more, nothing less.

"Are you in Transfiguration?" Harry turned back to James- who was only a stranger really- "Because it starts in ten minutes."

"Oh, shit! Let's go!"

"I don't have any books or anything..." Harry realized. He had his books from the future locked away in his trunk, but that would hardly do, would it?

"You can bum off me 'til you can owl order for some. Now c'mon! McGonagall will kill me if I'm late again!"

James grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him out the door. James' was a capable hand; it was warm and strong, and callused by Quidditch. It felt good against Harry's palm.

oOo

Classes in the past were about the same as Harry remembered them being in the future. McGonagall was as strict as ever, but forgave Harry for not having his books, and let him read off James as she lectured about the theory of cross-animations Transfigurations. The students were working on changing simple inanimate objects into flobberworms. Harry had never studied cross-animation transfigurations in class, but he had picked it up from Hermione, and then Draco and he had taught themselves...Harry swallowed tightly. Carefully he glanced over at the Slytherin side of the room. Lucius and Narcissa's bright blond heads were bent over their ribbon, faces set in the infamous Malfoy mask. Harry's heart twinged at the sight.

Fuck, this was hard.

Determinedly, Harry turned his focus back to the ribbon he and James were trying to turn into a flobberworm.

Together James and he struggled over the ribbon. Harry's experience with cross-animation spells had more to do with useful things- like stones into horses for escape, or sticks into dogs for distraction. Though they were more complex, they had also become familiar. Harry had never needed to transfigure a flobberworm- it wasn't even that useful as a Potions ingredient!

Eventually, they got their ribbon turned into a worm. They then had to do it again. And again. And again.

It was utterly useless, in Harry's mind. Mostly, he used the tedium as a chance to observe James, Sirius and Remus. It was Sirius who most caught his eye. The Sirius Harry had always known was a dark-eyed, half-mad man, who though loved Harry with all the strength he contained, had never been reliable. Azkaban had scarred Sirius nearly past recognition, meaning that this...child, who laughed and flirted with girls and boys alike, was a total stranger to Harry. Only his bark of a laugh and the doggy look in his eyes tied this Sirius to Harry's.

But that was alright.

This Sirius was cheerful. This Sirius was vivacious. This Sirius was _whole_.

Remus on the other hand, was almost exactly as Harry remembered; a little less grey and wise, but quiet, thoughtful and reliable, just as he always had been. And James rounded them out.

Harry had fantasized about the Marauders' friendship- about how close they must have been, before everything went south. But seeing it firsthand was a different matter completely. They fit perfectly together, like three puzzle pieces. Peter, as Harry had always imagined, was an accessory. He followed them like a lost puppy dog.

It was a sigh for sore eyes, but it also hurt, somewhere inside him, and for so many reasons.

But he was done with hurting now, Harry thought, done with hurting until everything was set right. Then he could hurt all he liked.

He cast one last longing glance at Lucius and Narcissa and followed the Marauders' out of the classroom.

"We are free...free!" Sirius cheered happily. "What say you, Mr. Prongs? What is on the agenda today? Pranking the Slytherins? Quidditch?"

Harry slipped away in the excitement. He had a war to plan.

And a Transfiguration Essay to write.

o

"I say we let Harry decide, Mr. Padfoot!" James announced jovially, turning to Harry, only to find that he had disappeared. "Where'd he go?"

The others turned to look.

Sirius laughed, "Guess he caught on to the fact that you're lusting after him, mate, and ran while he still could!"

James punched Sirius on the shoulder, scowling playfully. There was, after all, no emotional attachment to his sudden crush on Harry.

"_Maybe_," Remus drawled, ruffling his tawny hair and rolling his eyes at Sirius and James, "He went to the Library to work on the essay. You know...the one due tomorrow."

Sirius and James exchanged a long suffering look and turned disapproving eyes on him.

"Let's check the dorm," Peter suggested mildly from where he stood, gnawing on a stick of licorice.

"Excellent idea, Mr. Wormtail! A most superb idea indeed, my fine sir!" Sirius clapped Peter on the back, and Peter smiled around his candy.

James waved goodbye to Remus as they raced down the hall, knowing their bookish friend would go to the Library with or without them.

Remus rolled his eyes one more time and took off for the Library.

oOo

The Library, too, was much as Harry remembered it; quiet and musty, with the smell of old books in the air, and only the occasional sound of a turning page or a muffled cough to break the silence. Harry headed straight for what had always been his, Hermione's and Ron's table when they were planning mischief. He tried not to think about Ron and Hermione too much. When they had left him alone on the hunt for the Horcruxes, it had hurt in more ways than one, but he had understood. If he had a choice in the matter...well, he would have left him too.

But they still hadn't made it through the war intact.

They hadn't even had the blessing of death.

No, they had suffered as the Longbottoms' had suffered.

_Not this time_, Harry reminded himself sternly. He pulled some parchment out of his bag, fished around for a quill and ink and set the lot down on the rickety table in the farthest corner from the door. Hidden between the _Foreign Language _section and the section on O_bsolete Magics,_ it was probably the loneliest corner of the library. This is, of course, why they had chosen it, all the way back in First Year when they were researching Nicholas Flamel. The table was tucked into a corner under a dusty window, which filtered the bright afternoon sunlight rather well. Harry let his bag drop onto the floor beneath the table and took out Draco's wand.

Gently he tapped the parchment, whispering as quietly as he could in Parseltongue. It was an old spell which would his writing from any prying eyes. Though there were spells which did not require Parseltongue to hide writing, such as the one that hid the Marauder's Map, ParselMagic had always proved to be stronger.

His security set up, Harry began to write.

_To Do:_

_Horcruxes_

_Locket - Created? Should be in the cave. More research needed. _

_Diary- Definitely created. Where? Not with Lucius. More research needed._

_Diadem- In RoR. Retrieve this weekend?_

_Gaunt's Ring- In shack in Little Hangleton. Retrieve soon._

_Hufflepuff's Cup- Created? Where? More research needed. _

_Nagini- Not created. Not necessary to pursue. _

_Me- Destroyed in Final Battle. Shouldn't be recreated by time-travel. Double-check. _

_How to destroy?_

_Fiend Fyre? Too risky unless as a last resort. _

_Kill the basilisk again- easiest, unless I can get Basilisk venom on the Black Market. Basilisk needs killing anyway. Talk to Fawkes and the hat? Sneak into Dumbledore's office sometime. _

_Dumbledore?-Should I include him? I'll need the Order's support eventually unless I can take out Voldemort subtly. Unlikely. Need the intel. Can I trust Dumbledore?_

_Visit Gringotts. _

_Buy a house. _

_Research on time travel- Albus said something about becoming a Seer after going back in time? Research necessary._

Deciding that the last matter was the most urgent at the moment, as well as the one most likely to help him complete the others, Harry folded the paper and tucked into his pocket and headed into the _Obsolete Magics _section. It took him a while to find any books on Time Travel and even longer to find a _decent_ book. Finally, Harry located one. Of course, it was on the very top shelf. Damning his height, Harry scaled the bookshelves, praying the Madam Pince wouldn't find him. Of course, as soon as he had the book in his hand, he fell to the ground, bruising himself on the way down. Later Harry would decide that it was completely worth it.

Cussing under his breath, Harry groped around for his glasses and shoved them onto his face. Able to see again, Harry inspected the book. It was just the sort of book Hermione would have dived into, nose first. It was heavy, dusty and leather bound. A look on the inside cover revealed the title- _The Encyclopedia of Time Travel._

Excellent, that was exactly what he was looking for.

Of course, he spent the next three hours pouring over it looking for the particular spell he had used and the information he needed.

He finally found it in the chapter entitled _Side Effects of Time Travel. _

_It is recorded that in cases of time travel pertaining to fifteen or more years, the Traveler may become a seer. This is due to the complications of existing and not-existing in two places, but having knowledge of both. For more on this conundrum, see Chapter Twenty-Three, Existential Questions of the Traveler. The Traveler most often experiences very distinct hunches and occasional flashes of the future. In cases of very powerful Traveler's, it is likely they will experience dreams that tell them of the future as affected by their decisions in this past. This is known as Effectual Divinations. Effectual Seers are very rare due to the rarity of time travel, but relatively common among Travelers. Your chance of becoming an Effectual Seer is exponentially increased by each trip to the past or future. For example, a young man of ordinary power had used a divination technique rather common in the higher levels of Divination to travel two minutes into his future. Twenty years later, he travelled fifty years into the past and became a very powerful Effectual Seer known as Cassiel Broughe, despite never having been a Seer previously, nor having any great amount of power. _

Harry sighed. It was useful, but he didn't think all the things he might come to know as a Seer would be pleasant.

Because, there was no doubt in his mind that he would definitely be an Effectual Seer.

Harry pushed it out of his mind. He would worry about it when it started, and take it day to day from there. It was the best way to do things in this case.

Harry carefully disguised the _Encyclopedia _as a rather boring looking Potions book and tucked it into his bag.

Then he went in search of books for his Transfiguration Essay.

oOo

Though James, Sirius and Peter had looked pretty much all over, Harry hadn't appeared. So they went out flying instead, met Remus at supper (which Harry did not attend) and then retired to the Common Room to beg help off Remus with their Transfiguration and Defense Essays. Harry appeared about an hour after dinner. James smiled and waved him over. Harry plopped down on the couch beside Remus, and nodded at James.

James didn't think he'd yet to see Harry smile.

"Need help with your essay, Harry?" Remus offered quietly as he read over Sirius' second attempt.

"No, thanks. I already finished."

"You did? Good for you."

"Where were you all afternoon, our newest braniac?" Sirius asked from his spot in front of the fire.

"In the library," Harry shrugged. "I was wondering if I could borrow one your guys' owls. I'm sending in an Owl Order form for my books and other supplies. Also got a letter to send."

"You can borrow Wendylin," Sirius offered lazily, flicking paper scraps into the fire.

"As in _the weird_?" Harry asked with raised eyebrows. Sirius smirked, laughed and nodded.

"More like Sirius the weird," James added, chucking a pillow Sirius' way.

o

Harry watched James thoughtfully as he played with Sirius. All his life, Harry had been compared to James. Now, looking at James with his own two eyes, he didn't really see it. Well, he sort of could, in the bridge of their noses and the shape of their cheeks and eyebrows. But James' life showed in his face. His easy life showed there; in the rounded, stubborn chin; in the sparkling eyes and easy, genuine smile; even in the shaggy, chin length hair.

Harry had long ago cut his hair short. It still stood up every which way on top, but it was more controllable. Less of a weakness in battle too, Harry acknowledged as James' swept hair out of his face. James' muscles were strong, but they weren't the lean, unfed, wiry _lasting _strength of Harry's. His movement's were loose, uncontrolled, where Harry had long ago trained himself to use only the movement needed.

He looked young to Harry. Young and happy. A warmth rose in his chest as he watched James, hazel eyes turned orange in the light of the fire.

_Please Review. Sorry for the long wait. For excuses, information on updates, etc. check my profile. _


	4. The First Dream

_AN: Many, many apologies. RL has been crazy as all hell. Really, I haven't had the time, energy or mental acuity to devote to writing. I can't promise regular updates until the end of the semester either, but here is a little somethin' in way of apology. Enjoy, review, and please don't throw rotten fruit at me. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own either of the Potter boys or any of their comrades. _

_Chapter Three: The First Dream_

_two black-haired heads leaning together, a foreign and familiar emotion in their eyes...a tanned muscular body...two hands clasped together..._clearer images now_, two blonde heads bowed in the dark...overwhelming fear and pain...give me your child...give me your child...give me the boy...no, I won't...he is our child...pain, death, a squalling baby in the arms of the a monster, his blonde head inadequately held up for all to see..._

_laughter..._

And the future fades to the past,

_laughter...fear. They are running, running for their lives._

_"Draco, Draco, please just a little bit further and we'll be safe...Draco, come on..."_

_"I can't. Please, Harry, I have to stop."_

_"We can't, Draco, please, just a little bit further..."_

_A familiar scream of pain rends the air, the flashing lights of spells set a horrid backdrop as blood seeps into the ground...there is nothing he can do..._

Harry woke with Draco's name on his lips, his arms grasping for his lost love but catching only empty air. Staring at the insides of his curtains with despair, Harry jumped slightly in surprise and the curtains were torn apart, revealing three wide-eyed teens.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, "You screamed."

"I...no, not really," Harry murmured honestly, and instinct trained into him by the older Remus, "But I will be eventually. I'm sorry. I usually put up silencing barriers when I share a room with someone."

"You...you don't have to do that," James whispered, "I mean..."

Harry stared blankly at his - James. His James.

"You shouldn't be alone," Sirius finished, his features unusually grim.

"I...I have nightmares a lot," Was the only thing Harry could think of saying. "You won't get any sleep."

"It doesn't matter. We take care of each other in this dorm. It's just the way we are," Sirius stated this as though it was an unbreakable rule. Sirius' Azkaban devastated frame flashed through Harry's head, followed by a picture of _adult Sirius, but whole, healthy and happy raising a glass as though for a toast and saying 'To my best mates, on their -' before the vision fuzzed out. _Harry shook his head as he came back up from the glimpse of the future and wondered apprehensively how intrusive this _Effectual Divination _would be.

"D'you want to talk about it?" James asked, sitting beside Harry on the bed. Sirius and Remus dropped onto his bed too, all three of them looking at him in concern. Harry vaguely wondered where Peter was, but quickly dismissed the thought from his mind. He was trying not to dwell on the traitorous rat.

Harry shrugged.

"Who's Draco?" Sirius asked quietly, scooting further onto the bed.

Harry flinched and pulled himself into a lonely hug. _Fuck, I miss Draco. . Please, please come back. God, I miss you so fucking much. Draco._

_...he's our child...you can't have him...blond hair stained with blood, a spreading pool, cold red eyes...he's ours, don't take him, he's our child, please..._

Harry frantically shook his head, covering his ears and starting to cry again. What was going on? He wanted Draco.

"Oh, shit," He heard someone mutter. A warm arm fell heavily around his shoulders. Harry flinched and scrambled away from the contact. He wanted his Draco.

"Harry, calm down, it's okay. You're safe here. No one is going to hurt you." He thought he recognized Remus' voice, but he just wanted Draco.

"Draco," he called, "I want Draco."

"Shh," Another voice soothed, this one Harry didn't really recognize, though it felt familiar somewhere deep inside, "Shh, its okay, Harry."

"_Draco_..." Harry whined out, his voice tired and needy, "I just want Draco."

"Shh, Harry, s'alright," The oddly familiar voice soothed, "It's okay."

There were hands gently running through his hair, and another pair rubbing his back and yet another pair gently rocking him back and forth.

And Harry cried and cried until he slept, and then he cried no more.

o

"Merlin," Sirius murmured, rubbing his face tiredly. Harry had finally cried himself to sleep. Remus, James and Sirius all sat around him, Remus still threading his hands through Harry's hair.

"Merlin," James repeated, "That...that was worse than yours', Pads."

Remus nodded softly in agreement.

"What do we do?" Sirius asked after a long, pregnant pause.

"Same thing we always do, I guess," Remus murmured, "Wake him when he cries and hold him when he needs to be held."

Sirius and James looked at the werewolf in surprise. Generally, Remus was the most protective of their little group. He didn't like 'outsiders'. It was just part of his nature. He liked the pack, and nothing more.

Remus shrugged, and mumbled and explanation, "Jus' feels like he belongs, you know?"

Sirius and James frowned, but nodded.

"Who do you think Draco is?"

"Maybe his godfather?" Sirius guessed aloud.

They sat together in silence, watching the hitched rise and fall of Harry's chest for a long while.

"C'mon, we have classes in the morning; it's time we got to bed."

None of them slept well that night.

o

Harry woke early, as was his habit. He blushed upon remembering his nightmare last night and carefully set a subtle silencing and privacy charm around his bed. Despite what his roommates had said, he was sure they didn't want to be woken every night, possibly more than once a night, by his screams. It was kind of them to offer but...well, who knew when it would be Sirius or Remus' names he was calling out instead of Draco's?

It just couldn't happen, that was all. He's just have to be careful from here on out. Hesitantly, Harry got out of bed, making his way through the messy room and towards the bathroom with trepidation. Fuck, this mess made him nervous. Harry showered and dressed before the sun even rose, and made his way up to the Astronomy tower to watch the last couple of stars disappear as the sun rose.

He couldn't see Draco, but it didn't matter.

As he watched the sun slowly rise over the horizon, Harry thought about his dreams of the night before. Not the nightmares, but the impressions of the future he had received. It figured that he would jump right into _seeing. _Harry sighed. Carefully he closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on his eyelids and let the impressions drift back to him. _two blonde heads bowed in the dark...overwhelming fear and pain...give me your child...give me your child...give me the boy...no, I won't...he is our child...pain, death, a squalling baby in the arms of the a monster, his blonde head inadequately held up for all to see..._

_laughter..._

_...he's our child...you can't have him...blond hair stained with blood, a spreading pool, cold red eyes...he's ours, don't take him, he's our child, please..._

It came to Harry with a start. A cold feeling slipped into his stomach. Voldemort was going to take Draco. He was going to take Draco and kill him when he was born. No. No, Harry couldn't let that happen. Not again. He couldn't lose Draco again, it would kill him. It would just kill him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. NO!

How could he stop it? _He had to stop it! _

Panic bubbled in Harry as he desperately tried to think of someway to stop the horrible future he had seen.

The only thing to come to mind was stopping the Malfoys from ever becoming Death Eaters. But how could he do that? They didn't know him. They would never trust him. Unless…unless, he told them that…that he was a Seer. Could he tell them that?

Maybe…but, would they listen?

And what would he tell them? That he happened to see Voldemort asking for and killing their unborn son, and he just happened to know who everyone was and that they were Death Eaters to – be.

Fuck, this was all way too difficult for Harry's taste. He gently pulled out Draco's wand and kissed the very tip of it, feeling the tingling warmth of magic run across his lips. He sighed.

"Wish you were here, babe," He whispered into the growing light, "You'd know what to do."

o

It was a long, awkward day. Harry didn't quite know what to say to the Marauders, and they apparently felt the same. They exchanged tight smiles at breakfast, but Harry didn't sit with them, he sat alone at the end of the table, still considering the 'Malfoy Issue'.

It had turned even uglier when Harry realized he really wanted to be friends with them.

He really, really, really wanted to be friends with them. But – if he were friends with them, then he couldn't really be friends with the Marauders.

Harry had a headache most of the day.

o

James' first class of the day was Care of Magical Creatures, which none of his friends took, but he was pleased to see, Harry did take. Sirius and Remus both had Ancient Runes this period.

James stood beside Harry in the courtyard as they waited for Professor Kettleburn, and subtly tried to get the other boy's notice, but Harry seemed to be ignoring him. Slightly disappointed, James made his way over to Frank Longbottom, who was a Ravenclaw. The two of them had pretty much grown up together.

"G'mornin' Frank," James greeted, and then nodded at Alice, Frank's pretty Gryffindor girlfriend, "Alice."

"Good morning James, why the long face?"

James scowled at Frank. Frank chuckled and patted James on the back.

"So…" Frank continued, trying to change the topic, "What's the new kid like? Harry White, right?"

"He's…fine. Quiet, I s'pose."

"Oh?"

"Spent most of yesterday in the library, kinda surprised he didn't end up in Ravenclaw with your nerdy self," James teased, a glimmer entering his eyes.

Frank stuck his tongue out, and they spent the rest of class quietly bantering while Professor Kettleburn lectured about Hippogriffs, which would be their next focus.

o

That night, as Harry sat by the fire in the common room, working on his Charms paper, he was approached by an oddly familiar looking girl.

"Hi," She quietly said, "I'm Alice. Alice Brizio. You're Harry, right?"

"Yeah."

"I heard that you're really good with Charms…um, and I'm pretty handy with Astronomy…I don't know if you need help with that, 'cause we haven't had that class yet, but I thought we might study together."

"You want to study with me?" Harry asked in surprise. Though people had been pretty friendly, no one had outright approached him like this.

Alice blushed, "I usually study with my friend Lily, but she's Headgirl this year and spends a lot of time tutoring the younger years, so I haven't had anyone to study with. And since you're new, I thought you might not have anyone to study with either, so…"

Harry looked at her with wide eyes. He had finally placed her. This was Neville's mom. He couldn't believe he hadn't recognized her before.

"I'd love to study together," He finally said.

And so, Harry made his first friend, and for just a while, he could forget about the Malfoy Issue.

_Again - apologies. I am so sorry about the length between updates. If you haven't given up on me, thank you so much! I hope to get some other updates out in the next week or two, but no promises! _


End file.
